A social media user on X (formerly Twitter), who goes by the handle @SudiptoDoc, has declared that he applied for the post of Team India Head Coach. His response comes as the Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) seeks the replacement of Rahul Dravid.
Many Indian cricket fans have reacted after it was discovered that the BCCI had released a Google Form for the potential applicants. Some got offended that job applications for such a high profile post was sought through a Google Form. Some others reacted with memes and sarcastic comments.
The user’s reaction to the BCCI seeking applications through Google Forms seems to fall in the second category: sarcasm. However, he does give an elaborate explanation of his “cricketing credentials”.
“I have played gully cricket in my school years. My balls were unplayable, I mean, the balls I bowled were unplayable because they never reached the stumps at the batsman’s end. I was a stylish batsman too. Very stylish, so as to say. Sun hat, shades, chewing gum, sunscreen, red kerchief jutting out of my trouser pocket… the works, you see,” the user wrote.
“My fielding was just incomparable because it used to be a treatise on no less than applied physics. I made accurate estimates of the velocity, momentum, gravity and ballistics of the ball before making a run for it and I was always theoretically correct, even if my teammates thought otherwise. Maybe I wasn’t a keeper as a wicket keeper, but who cares when you excel in all other departments of the game,” he added.
Then, the social media user, who is a doctor as per the bio, wrote about an incident that had happened last month. He played Tennis, Ball, and Cricket in his neighbourhood. He was fielding at mid-off when a younger player hit the ball straight at him.
His brain tried to calculate the catch, but the ball smacked him on the nose and eye before it could, plunging his world into darkness.
“I fell down. Simple physics,” he wrote.
As he fell, he spewed blood instead of calculations. Vision blurred, women rushed to help, and men secretly rejoiced. The ladies stopped the bleeding with gauze and gave him a “stiff mix to gulp”. He was back to normal quickly.
“With such impeccable credentials – courage, charisma and mathematical knowledge – how can I not be found fit to coach the Indian Cricket Team? I hope to get a call from BCCI soon,” he concluded.
Netizens react
One of the users who replied to the post requested Elon Musk to “remove his blue tick”. The X user is “misusing the ability to write long sentences”, he quipped.
“All the best for the interview. Kohli ki har baat se bas agree hi karna hai (Agree with Kohli on whatever he says). Should be easy,” wrote another.
BCCI criteria
What may stop the user from being considered for the top job is that the BCCI wants someone who has played at least 30 Test matches or 50 ODIs or has coached a full-member Test-playing Nation for at least two years.
Experience as a Head Coach for an Associate member, IPL team or equivalent for three years is also acceptable. A BCCI Level 3 Certification or equivalent is required. Due to strict BCCI guidelines, it seems like a deserving candidate will miss the chance to coach Team India.
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Published: 15 May 2024, 10:40 AM IST